My little babies are growing up to be sweet loving little kids who adore their momma, who think their momma is their fave person in the world.
And while this is my little piece of heaven on Earth, it also scares me. They love me so much and I am seeing their protective side which they got from me, which I got from my mother. It’s the I-will-fight-anyone-to-protect-you kind of protective, its the emotionally charged kind of protective, its the defensive kind of protective, its the don’t-you-dare-say-anything-bad-about-my-momma kind of protective, the dont-dare-hurt-my-mom kind of protective. And this scares me.
I know the lengths they will go in the future to protect me, and how they will become explosive in arguments to defend my name and reputation. I know how they will hurt anyone who will try to hurt me. I know because I was like that too with my mom.
I am scared of the number of arguments they will get into and fights they will start to protect me. I know because I got into a few to protect my mom.
But more than anything I am scared that they will be devastated when I’m gone. Death is inevitable, no one escapes it. We are all headed towards that direction. As much as we want to stay with our children forever someday we will leave them. And it scares me to know that the little people I love the most, my most precious babies who love me so much will be broken hearted and devastated in the future.
Knowing that my kids love me to the moon and back scares me. Because I know the magnitude of their love for me will be the magnitude of their grief when I’m gone.