I was once like the millions of kids all over the world who believed and adored Santa.

He was that magical being who would come at night while I was sleeping and leave candies and chocolates inside the socks that I would hang by the window. My father would make me choose a nice pair of socks and hang them by the window because he said Santa normally stops by our window near our front door to check.

I would do this a few days before Christmas and each morning I’d be so elated to see the socks filled to the brim with candies and chocolates.

When toys were too big to fit, Santa would leave the toys by the window.

I’d gather all my goodies and show them to people. My Dad would tell me that Santa was looking for me and that he’d come back that night. I’d ask him how Santa looked like and what he said and he would tell me in detail how the magical being in red comes every night a few days before Christmas.

The following year, two months before Christmas my father died of a heart attack. I came home from school to find my mother crying, and at a loss. She said my father’s gone. I was six years old.

It was a sad Christmas for the family to say the least. I don’t remember how we celebrated that year. But I remember a few days before Christmas I dug up my fave pair of socks from the drawer and hung them by the window, just like how my father taught me.

I kept thinking maybe Santa would make my Christmas merry and bright. But each December morning that year I’d wake up to see a pair of empty socks. No chocolates, no candies, no toys, nor coloring books and crayons.

The first few days I thought maybe Santa was busy, maybe he didn’t see my socks, maybe he forgot. But I gave him a couple of chances and waited a few more days. But he never came ever.

The following year I tried again. But Santa never came back.

Santa died along with my father. At an early age I had to face the reality that Santa isn’t real after all. And when friends would start talking about Santa I’d tell them my Santa died of a heart attack and he’s not coming back.