I’m sorry. I wasn’t the one who sent you that photo of our ceiling, and my foot. I also wasn’t the one who sent you an inappropriate laughing smiley after you posted a status about losing your phone. Which may or may not have been followed by a long line of random characters via private message.
You see I have rambunctious children that includes a terrorist toddler who often hold my phone hostage and who can navigate my phone’s applications like a boss. At times I forget to sign out my accounts. I guess you know what happens when you have a technologically savvy tot who can’t read yet and a mother who forgets to log out her social media accounts in her phone.
If you are one of those who currently hate me because I inappropriately liked or sent a happy smiley to a status narrating your misfortune, (i.e. losing a pet, you getting sick) please know that that wasn’t me being happy about it. It was my child scrolling through my Facebook wall and randomly liking and clicking buttons. I also would like to apologize to those friends who might have received a photo of a foot, or a close up of a pair of small nostrils. Please know that I haven’t lost my marbles yet. No, that wasn’t me going crazy, it was my toddler taking photos of people’s appendages, the ceiling, sniffing the phone, taking pictures of her nostrils and clicking share.
And if you are a Facebook “friend” who has no idea who I am, and who just accepted my friend request out of curiosity but can’t recall ever meeting me. Please know that there’s a 90% chance that I do not know you too. It must have been my child who added you. How a two year old did that is a mystery to me too.
And since we’re on the topic of my child sending random people friend requests, I also would need to check all the pages “I” have liked and followed on Facebook recently. I have been noticing a lot of My Little Pony photos on my news feed lately.
To my friends who sent me an important message only to be marked seen, or replied to with many many smileys one after another or worse a dancing GIF. I am sorry. That wasn’t me. And there’s a 99.9% chance that I didn’t see your message because my tot marked it “read”. So please feel free to send me another message, send it twice just for insurance.
I remember a friend who, in the middle of the night, started a live Facebook video of the electric fan going round and round and round for 30 minutes. Because she has a small child and I am a mom too I know too well what happened. God forbid the day my children will take photos of me in my granny panties and accidentally posts it on Facebook, or Facebook live me snoring (Lord God please, no).
But in case that happens, please let this be my apology in advance.